i'm not looking for sympathy.
i'm not hoping for empathy.
i'm not really interested in any of the "-pathies".

i'm closed off for a reason. i have the walls because i want them there.
i'm happy being cut off from emotion.
well, i guess it's not fair to say i'm completely cut off from emotion...since i cry & get mad & all that jazz...
what i mean is that i'm happy with the fact that i'm not emotionally attached to anyone. that's liberating. that feels incredible to me. i have never in my life had so much emotional freedom.
of course, it's not me. it's not my personality to not really give a shit about anyone else.

i'm putting all my eggs into one basket. sorry for the cliche...but how else do i explain it?
all of my effort and all of my emotions, they're for him.