you once said you wished my heart would come visit sometime.

it walks for days through cold rain to come knock on your door.

sometimes you answer, sometimes you don't.

but it still continues to come back.

it misses you & wishes you'd answer more often.

an addict, trapped inside her own addiction of being addicted. it's a never-ending cycle but the trade off is worth it. pain for love. pain for love. if it feels right, then do it. then let's do it. i'm here. where are you? i can't wait forever.

you said the leaves are symbolic.

i'm a leaf. i was green, fresh, new. then i turned orange. a gorgeous shade of orange that should have made you feel warm and safe. i was still safe then. but then i fell. slowly, gracefully, taking my time towards the soft earth...yet, i still fell.

and here i lie. on the damp ground. it's soft here, but i'm just waiting for you to notice my gorgeous shade. to gently lift me up and bring me into your safe home. to preserve me and keep me safe. not because you feel you need to, but because you couldn't stand to live without my perfect shade of orange. you wouldn't want to share my color with anyone else because i didn't change for them. i'm orange for you. it is your gift to keep.

don't leave me to turn brown and dry. i'll be too fragile. my pieces will crack and break and fall. i want to stay orange for you.